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 Understanding Grief and Loss

Grief is a natural response to loss, profoundly personal and often uniquely challenging. It encompasses a wide range of experiences—from the death of a loved one to significant life changes such as divorce, job loss, or even the loss of what might have been. Each type of loss invites its own form of grief, impacting individuals in diverse ways.

Types of Losses

Loss can manifest in several forms, not all of which are immediately recognized by society as significant. These include:

• Tangible Losses: These are losses of external conditions or objects, such as the death of a loved one, loss of a home, or end of employment.

• Intangible Losses: These involve aspects like loss of security, loss of trust in relationships, or loss of dreams and expectations.

• Cumulative Losses: Sometimes, multiple losses occur in quick succession or accumulate over time, compounding the grief and making it more complex to navigate.

Disenfranchised Grief

Disenfranchised grief occurs when your grief is not acknowledged or socially supported due to the nature of your loss. This type of grief might be experienced in situations such as the loss of someone from suicide or complications related to substance use. The circumstances surrounding these losses can be traumatic and significantly affect the grieving process, compounding feelings of isolation and misunderstanding. Drawing from my years of experience in providing counseling services during the ongoing drug poisoning epidemic in BC, I have supported numerous individuals and families navigating the complex emotions that arise from these challenging situations. These losses often lack the open acknowledgment found in other grieving processes, leading to a deepened sense of solitude and sorrow. Disenfranchised grief is particularly challenging because it typically does not receive the typical social or emotional support. 

Understanding Delayed Grief and Anticipatory Grief

Delayed Grief Response: Sometimes, the full emotional response to a loss does not occur immediately after the loss itself. This is known as a delayed grief response. It can surface weeks, months, or even years later, often triggered by a separate event or even seemingly out of nowhere. Delayed grief can be confusing and may require revisiting the feelings associated with the original loss under new circumstances.

Anticipatory Grief: Anticipatory grief occurs when grief is experienced in anticipation of a loss that is expected to happen but has not yet occurred. This can involve the expected loss of a loved one due to illness or the foreseeing of any significant life change. Anticipatory grief allows individuals to begin the grieving process before the actual loss, possibly easing the intensity of grief experienced after the loss occurs, but it can also be emotionally complex and exhausting.

Both delayed grief and anticipatory grief are important aspects of the grieving process, recognizing that grief is not always a linear experience following a loss. Understanding these types of grief can help in normalizing the range of emotions involved and provide better frameworks for support and therapy.

Navigating Your Journey of Grief

Grief is a profoundly personal journey that each person navigates differently. My approach, deeply rooted in Narrative Therapy and informed by my training with the Living through Loss Counselling Society of BC, emphasizes the importance of 'continuing bonds.' This concept involves maintaining an ongoing connection with the deceased, which can be a vital part of the healing process. Through re-membering conversations, we acknowledge and honor the enduring influence of lost loved ones in our lives. These discussions help integrate the cherished memories and ongoing impact of those who have passed into everyday experiences, fostering a healing continuity. In our sessions, we provide a safe, compassionate space to explore these connections, assisting you in embracing the past's presence as a source of strength and hope as you move forward.